Being creative, in any field, is a crapshoot. I remember going to jazz shows in New York and realizing that the audience was almost entirely comprised of fellow musicians. In a way, it felt nice to be part of a community like that. But at the same time I knew it wasn't a sustainable business model.

I'm sorry about the cruelness that you've experienced, and as a person with autism myself, I can relate to the feeling of rejection. I sometimes jokingly tell my students, when they obviously have been practicing, that they realize they're not allowed to surpass me. It's against school policy. Then I smile.

But I have heard of some teachers who sincerely do not want their students to be better than them... and go on to steal their gigs. That's pretty sad but it's a fact of life. We have to be strong and believe in ourselves so that the human speedbumps don't impede us.